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Tou Wee, hear my voice
I want to give you a second choice
See this caribou
I give it now to you

Look at your clothes and
Look at your face and
Look at your foolish smile

Look at your manners
Look at your banners
They are so out of style

Can you hear scoring?
Can you hear snoring?
Can you hear Kingdom come?

Do you know anyone,
Anyone at all
Who could buy even some?

Tou Wee, read my lips
I want to give you two more free tips:
Don't cheer for Red Sox!
Don't cheer for Mighty Ducks!

Tou Wee, give it up!
Admit that you ate that pretty pup
T'was not bad at all
It was so weak and small